Thursday, July 20, 2006

What To Expect....The Reality. The Unwritten Book For Expecting Parents.

Sometimes I disappear. But I'm not gone. Just thinking. Playing. Laughing. Reading. Running. It's summer and I'm enjoying it.

I read a lot of pre pregnancy books while I was pregnant. I even read them before I was pregnant. Through the writings of midwives, doctors, and mothers, I came to expect pain and joy. There were books that told me how much weight I was supposed to gain (liars), books that told me how our baby was growing, when to expect kicks, when to expect aches, and how difficult it might be to breastfeed. This list of knowledge (unwanted or not) is endless. I don't claim to be an expert, and don't understand anyone who does, except the biology of it all of course.

There are things however that I have experienced that were never written about. Important things. Things that I would have appreciated having some understanding before they happened. Perhaps it's just a part of parenthood, and this knowledge comes with the package. Some may argue that I am compulsive when it comes to being prepared (though now I have a baby, they can no longer argue that point). There are however a few things I would have appreciated time to understand.

During my pregnancy I can't begin to tell you the number of times I heard, "Having a baby will change everything". Well, no shit. I thought things would be exactly the same as they were. Needless to say, OF COURSE there is truth in this. Go Figure.

So I guess it is the everything that I would l would like to explore. What is everything that changes, and what do I wish I knew before I had a baby that would have better prepared me?

  • How much more I would fall in love with Dave.
  • How much unwanted advice I was going to get and how to deal with it.
  • How having a baby would affect my friendships.
  • How I see my parents in a new light.
  • What about me?
  • Time.
  • Appreciation.
  • How upsetting weaning would be.
  • ..........Well, basically EVERYTHING I guess. HA!

Over the next few days, I am going to take some of the everything that I have found have had the most impact on me write about them. Why? I don't know. I feel like it.

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cara winsor hehir said...

what a beautiful child. he appears to be approximatly the same age as llew, 15 months, am i right?
i read that "what to expect..." book when i was pregnant as well ans some other "you and your pregnancy" books. i found that they made me paranoid (one books diagram for the fetus at 8 months showed what it would look like with the cord around it's neck!!)
i found it best to ask my mum and sisters about their pregnancies. i also have a very sensible family practitioner, who i badgered with questions. as for the unwanted "you shouldn't hold him like that" "you should let him sleep with you" "you should have him weened by now" comments, well i've taken to telling people to bugger off, with a big smile, so far it's worked!

Trish said...

So true. I remember wondering why no one told me nursing was going to hurt like hell and about how I was going to crave my children.
I can't wait to read more!

Laural Dawn said...

I cant wait to read it - I totally relate. There's so much you don't hear. And the advice... I hate it! And, I thought it would stop but it doesn't. Now I get advice on how to deal with temper tantrums, the word "no" and other crap.
As for weaning, though, I was the opposite. I thought it would be so sad for me - and it was liberating, but he was 18 months.
And, the weight gain - totally hear you. Totally.