Saturday, June 17, 2006

Baby Park

I have always hated "dog park". We have always avoided taking Chewy to dog park, though sometimes Dog Park happens when you least expect it, and all of a sudden you are in Dog Park. Dog park freaks the shit out of me.

Definition of Dog Park: Any random park that often lazy, freakish individuals (we will herein refer to them as Dog Parkers) take their dogs to play with other dogs who have similar owners. Dog park is never "organized" per say, although everyone "conveniently" shows up at the same time, morning and night. Hmmm.

Why do I hate dog park? Well.....

1. It really bothers me that people don't take their dogs for a walk. Instead of exercising their "four footed best friend" they take their dogs to Dog Park where fifteen other dogs and Dog Parkers gather. These dogs basically stay around their owners (who are chatting mindlessly and endless about meaningless crap) sniff each others asses, watch each other crap, and have pissing competitions. Rarely will a Dog Parker throw a ball for Spot, play with FooFoo, or even pet them for that matter. Half the time the lazy ass Dog Parkers drive to the park. What the?

2. Dog Parkers never refer to one another by first name. Instead they refer to one another as insert dog name here's owner. I found myself in dog park once, or should I say it found me. The Dog Parker struck up a conversation with me, I said "My name is Heather" (shit why did I say that?). They said "I'm Sallies owner". Looks like Sally wasn't the only bitch in the park.

3. Conversation between Dog Parkers consist of a) Breed of dog? b) How old is dog? c) My dog does this...My dog does that...My dog does the other thing. Good For You and Your Dog.

4. All Dog Parkers think their dogs love Dog Park. In actuality, their dogs would rather be in a hike in the forest, cruising the neighbourhood pissing on every post, tree and garden or chasing a ball thrown clear across the park by their owner.

Dog Park Pisses Me Off


Pushing Miles on the swing.

Look to left, empty swing.

Look to right, another parent pushing their child.

Conversation begins a) How old is she?...Oops its a he. b) What is baby's name?...Never introducing themselves, just offering baby's name. c) My baby can do this...My baby can do that...May baby does the other thing.

I believe there are many amazing parents and families can be met in the playground (yes potential future best friends for Miles, so I best be on my best behaviour), but is my playground turning into some warped version of Dog Park?

Ok Baby Park is way better than Dog a million times better... than Dog Park, but I still think it's weird.


1 comment:

Laural Dawn said...

So glad you're back! I missed your posts. I thought you'd been traumatized by leaving Miles in the car!
I hated the dog park people. I lived in a fairly exclusive neighbourhood for awhile (I was a renter) and I used to bring my adopted "mutt" to one park. I avoided the dog park people like the plague because of all the reasons you said and also because of the fact that they looked down on my dog who wasn't of the right breed. Ick. But, he was way nicer and cuter than their dogs.