IT.

Yes folks, there is another world out there. A world of "mommy bloggers" (rumor has it there are "daddy bloggers" too). Yes, it is scary, but as a mommy...And well, a "mommy blogger", I must admit, there are a few mommy bloggers I love and visit often (they make me laugh). There are even a few mommy bloggers that I don't love (they make me angry), but visit anyways...WHY? Cause it makes me feel better.

In this world of mommy madness a game of tag is being played. The Misadventures of (Mommy) Laural (she's one of the good ones...Really she is) has been so kind enough to tag me **hint of sarcasm (I dislike tag, never liked it on the playground...Always running around aimlessly, chasing the almighty untaggable.**. Kind enough to make me realize that five is a very difficult number (though it does make for an easy post). I know it's not your fault Laural, you are merely playing the game....As will I. I think it's bad luck or something to not continue the game, like something really bad happens, like you lose a toe or something.

NOTE: "My" has been changed to "My/Our"...If you think I'm taking all the blame you've got another thing coming.

5 Things in My/Our Refrigerator:

**See Previous Post**

5 Things in My/Our Closet:

1. Three Bags of nice clothing that hopefully someday soon will fit again (No comments from the peanut gallery please...I am well aware that Miles is one now) .
2. Underwear (Type: Granny...ahh the comfort....The sexy ones are in the bag of clothing that no longer fit) .
3. Dave's underwear (even the ones with holes...Just incase he runs out of the other 30 good pairs he has) .
4. Socks (Same deal as number 3. You can't reach into the sock pile without finding at least three pairs you refuse to wear because they have holes....You can't argue with him on this one....Really....What if we run out of good socks?....I'd rather go barefoot) .
5. A pillow that Miles peed on.

5 Things in My Handbag:

**I don't have a handbag. I have an immensely large and extremely ugly pink wallet with hearts. It cost me ten dollars. I shove all my crap in the stroller...Which is basically my wallet. I'm a no make up, no fuss kinda gal.

5 Things in My/Our Car:

1. Lots of music .
2. Pop cans that Dave has shoved under the seat because he thinks I won't know they are there. 3. A Baby on Board sign. Speaking of which, Baby on Board signs work to your advantage, but also against....Yes other drivers back off (a bit) when you are driving, BUT when you are driving on your own, without baby, speeding and listening to music full blast (because you can't when baby is in the car....ahh Such freedom), people look at you like you are an awful person for driving like a crazy person because they think you have a baby in the car.
4. A plaid sheet (seriously but ugly) that we put up in the back seat because we think it prevents dog hair from getting everywhere....Yeah right.
5. SHIT LOADS OF DOG HAIR .

Now the way the game goes, is that I tag someone (it should be five people, but I don't know five bloggers personally). So, sorry to those of you I've tagged before (yes I have played before...again with the fear of losing toes), but Emily, Tawny, Anna Lee and hrm....Well I think that's it. You are IT.

Gratuitous Baby Photo

*Read sign*

Reality In My Fridge, 7 Months Later

**Click to view**
Reality In My Fridge Part One

This evening after I put Miles to sleep I decided that I needed a beer. That's when it hit me. My fridge, just as it was seven months ago, is still very telling of my/our reality.

There are a few differences

1. NO! It's not the same beer, infact it has been replaced many times (company, and a few good nights, we aren't alcoholics.....Yet....We are saving that for retirement...Kidding...Jesus . YES! It is still demoted to the bottom of the fridge door.

2. Never has a jug of Homo milk graced my fridge before. Now a new one is there every few days. I admit...It makes my coffee so much more yummy.

3. Not since I lived in Field B.C. have I seen such chaos in a fridge (I had six roommates then). Note that the beer has it's own special place in the fridge. Is this still considered and demotion if it has it's own home in the fridge door? Seems to me, it says, we care Alexander Keith...And until I get pregnant again. I will visit you. Not as often as I used to, but I will visit.

And some things never change

1. We still like orange juice.

2. Apparently we don't like the sweet chili sauce that is located on the top shelf in the door. Mental note, throw away before next reality In My Fridge Blog

3. Actually if you look at both pictures, a lot doesn't change...It just gets moved around. Mental note, clean fridge.

**Go ahead, laugh. But I bet if you took a picture of your fridge and looked at it in seven months, you'd get a pretty good idea of your reality too!**

Baby Park

I have always hated "dog park". We have always avoided taking Chewy to dog park, though sometimes Dog Park happens when you least expect it, and all of a sudden you are in Dog Park. Dog park freaks the shit out of me.

Definition of Dog Park: Any random park that often lazy, freakish individuals (we will herein refer to them as Dog Parkers) take their dogs to play with other dogs who have similar owners. Dog park is never "organized" per say, although everyone "conveniently" shows up at the same time, morning and night. Hmmm.

Why do I hate dog park? Well.....

1. It really bothers me that people don't take their dogs for a walk. Instead of exercising their "four footed best friend" they take their dogs to Dog Park where fifteen other dogs and Dog Parkers gather. These dogs basically stay around their owners (who are chatting mindlessly and endless about meaningless crap) sniff each others asses, watch each other crap, and have pissing competitions. Rarely will a Dog Parker throw a ball for Spot, play with FooFoo, or even pet them for that matter. Half the time the lazy ass Dog Parkers drive to the park. What the?

2. Dog Parkers never refer to one another by first name. Instead they refer to one another as insert dog name here's owner. I found myself in dog park once, or should I say it found me. The Dog Parker struck up a conversation with me, I said "My name is Heather" (shit why did I say that?). They said "I'm Sallies owner". Looks like Sally wasn't the only bitch in the park.

3. Conversation between Dog Parkers consist of a) Breed of dog? b) How old is dog? c) My dog does this...My dog does that...My dog does the other thing. Good For You and Your Dog.

4. All Dog Parkers think their dogs love Dog Park. In actuality, their dogs would rather be in a hike in the forest, cruising the neighbourhood pissing on every post, tree and garden or chasing a ball thrown clear across the park by their owner.

Dog Park Pisses Me Off

**CUT TO PLAYGROUND**

Pushing Miles on the swing.

Look to left, empty swing.

Look to right, another parent pushing their child.

Conversation begins a) How old is she?...Oops its a he. b) What is baby's name?...Never introducing themselves, just offering baby's name. c) My baby can do this...My baby can do that...May baby does the other thing.

I believe there are many amazing parents and families can be met in the playground (yes potential future best friends for Miles, so I best be on my best behaviour), but is my playground turning into some warped version of Dog Park?

Ok Baby Park is way better than Dog Park...like a million times better... than Dog Park, but I still think it's weird.

BABY PARK:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MILES

There are things that make me laugh, nothing things, not necessarily laugh out loud things, not necessarily always funny, more along the absurd or just plain stupid, but I laugh. Inside. At it all. Things like people who won't give up their seats on the subway for the pregnant or elderly you know they are secretly asking themselves, "Is she really pregnant or just fat?" and "How old is too old to stand on the subway?", old men that randomly fart and know they can get away with it just because they are old (apparenlty that either means they don't know any better, or the poor dears just lack the control), my neighbours (long story)......Stupid shit really.

There is drunken, induced, uncontrollable laughter. When it's really not funny, but hell yes, it really is.

This could get out of control so I'll stop. Lets just say...I LAUGH...A LOT...Thank You Very Much. I have enjoyed amazing friendships in my life, I have laughed immensely at myself, by myself and with people I love.

Nothing in my life has brought me such happiness and laughter as this little beauty right here....













Doesn't it just bring tears to your eyes?

On June 10th Miles turned one. It's hard to believe that THIS (click for story of Miles' birth) is what was going on in my life on June 10th one year ago. Major surgery never seemed more worth it.

On Miles' birthday we had a party at my parents house. Good friends and family, cake, presents, a bocci tournament and lots of food. Miles had a great time. He was of course clueless to the fact that it was a very special day for him (and us). A day that when he gets a bit older will be celebrated by overdosing on cake and ice cream. A day he will fall asleep hugging his favorite new truck. A day that when he gets way older he will celebrate by drinking alcohol and dancing. A day that when he gets way way older he will celebrate with his new family and old friends from highschool. A day that when he gets way way way older he might wish he wasn't celebrating another year at all.

It was nice to have people we love around us to celebrate the most amazing, wonderful, intense, and interesting year of our life with. So thank you for everyone who came, it truly meant a lot to us.

Two cakes. One for us....one for Miles (and Bo). At this point in the game Miles was tired, that is until fistfulls of orange and black frosting entered his system. Below you see a smiling Miles loving the fact that everyone is singing to him. He then tentatively approaches his cake

Enter BO

Following Bo's lead, the cake is destroyed and both are covered in a sugary mess. IT WAS LOVELY!

Below are some photos of the bocci tournament (congrats to the winners Michelle and Rob...It was a heated battle...Jody and Mike will eventually recover from that amazing come back victory. It seems as if alcohol really does get you places Michelle!) and some shots of the party.
















oh and one more thing............

Doesn't Dean look Hot? It was his birthday too...Poor guy had to share his special day with a one year old. He drank himself silly later that evening (so difficult to share, that lime light). He wore a flashy pin that said "Look who's turning 30" to make himself feel better.....well that and about 30 beers. It's a miracle he didn't fall into the marina on a smoke break.

Looking forward to many more years of laughter. Thank you Miles for coming into our lives, it has been amazing.