IT.

Yes folks, there is another world out there. A world of "mommy bloggers" (rumor has it there are "daddy bloggers" too). Yes, it is scary, but as a mommy...And well, a "mommy blogger", I must admit, there are a few mommy bloggers I love and visit often (they make me laugh). There are even a few mommy bloggers that I don't love (they make me angry), but visit anyways...WHY? Cause it makes me feel better.

In this world of mommy madness a game of tag is being played. The Misadventures of (Mommy) Laural (she's one of the good ones...Really she is) has been so kind enough to tag me **hint of sarcasm (I dislike tag, never liked it on the playground...Always running around aimlessly, chasing the almighty untaggable.**. Kind enough to make me realize that five is a very difficult number (though it does make for an easy post). I know it's not your fault Laural, you are merely playing the game....As will I. I think it's bad luck or something to not continue the game, like something really bad happens, like you lose a toe or something.

NOTE: "My" has been changed to "My/Our"...If you think I'm taking all the blame you've got another thing coming.

5 Things in My/Our Refrigerator:

**See Previous Post**

5 Things in My/Our Closet:

1. Three Bags of nice clothing that hopefully someday soon will fit again (No comments from the peanut gallery please...I am well aware that Miles is one now) .
2. Underwear (Type: Granny...ahh the comfort....The sexy ones are in the bag of clothing that no longer fit) .
3. Dave's underwear (even the ones with holes...Just incase he runs out of the other 30 good pairs he has) .
4. Socks (Same deal as number 3. You can't reach into the sock pile without finding at least three pairs you refuse to wear because they have holes....You can't argue with him on this one....Really....What if we run out of good socks?....I'd rather go barefoot) .
5. A pillow that Miles peed on.

5 Things in My Handbag:

**I don't have a handbag. I have an immensely large and extremely ugly pink wallet with hearts. It cost me ten dollars. I shove all my crap in the stroller...Which is basically my wallet. I'm a no make up, no fuss kinda gal.

5 Things in My/Our Car:

1. Lots of music .
2. Pop cans that Dave has shoved under the seat because he thinks I won't know they are there. 3. A Baby on Board sign. Speaking of which, Baby on Board signs work to your advantage, but also against....Yes other drivers back off (a bit) when you are driving, BUT when you are driving on your own, without baby, speeding and listening to music full blast (because you can't when baby is in the car....ahh Such freedom), people look at you like you are an awful person for driving like a crazy person because they think you have a baby in the car.
4. A plaid sheet (seriously but ugly) that we put up in the back seat because we think it prevents dog hair from getting everywhere....Yeah right.
5. SHIT LOADS OF DOG HAIR .

Now the way the game goes, is that I tag someone (it should be five people, but I don't know five bloggers personally). So, sorry to those of you I've tagged before (yes I have played before...again with the fear of losing toes), but Emily, Tawny, Anna Lee and hrm....Well I think that's it. You are IT.

Gratuitous Baby Photo

*Read sign*

Reality In My Fridge, 7 Months Later

**Click to view**
Reality In My Fridge Part One

This evening after I put Miles to sleep I decided that I needed a beer. That's when it hit me. My fridge, just as it was seven months ago, is still very telling of my/our reality.

There are a few differences

1. NO! It's not the same beer, infact it has been replaced many times (company, and a few good nights, we aren't alcoholics.....Yet....We are saving that for retirement...Kidding...Jesus . YES! It is still demoted to the bottom of the fridge door.

2. Never has a jug of Homo milk graced my fridge before. Now a new one is there every few days. I admit...It makes my coffee so much more yummy.

3. Not since I lived in Field B.C. have I seen such chaos in a fridge (I had six roommates then). Note that the beer has it's own special place in the fridge. Is this still considered and demotion if it has it's own home in the fridge door? Seems to me, it says, we care Alexander Keith...And until I get pregnant again. I will visit you. Not as often as I used to, but I will visit.

And some things never change

1. We still like orange juice.

2. Apparently we don't like the sweet chili sauce that is located on the top shelf in the door. Mental note, throw away before next reality In My Fridge Blog

3. Actually if you look at both pictures, a lot doesn't change...It just gets moved around. Mental note, clean fridge.

**Go ahead, laugh. But I bet if you took a picture of your fridge and looked at it in seven months, you'd get a pretty good idea of your reality too!**

Baby Park

I have always hated "dog park". We have always avoided taking Chewy to dog park, though sometimes Dog Park happens when you least expect it, and all of a sudden you are in Dog Park. Dog park freaks the shit out of me.

Definition of Dog Park: Any random park that often lazy, freakish individuals (we will herein refer to them as Dog Parkers) take their dogs to play with other dogs who have similar owners. Dog park is never "organized" per say, although everyone "conveniently" shows up at the same time, morning and night. Hmmm.

Why do I hate dog park? Well.....

1. It really bothers me that people don't take their dogs for a walk. Instead of exercising their "four footed best friend" they take their dogs to Dog Park where fifteen other dogs and Dog Parkers gather. These dogs basically stay around their owners (who are chatting mindlessly and endless about meaningless crap) sniff each others asses, watch each other crap, and have pissing competitions. Rarely will a Dog Parker throw a ball for Spot, play with FooFoo, or even pet them for that matter. Half the time the lazy ass Dog Parkers drive to the park. What the?

2. Dog Parkers never refer to one another by first name. Instead they refer to one another as insert dog name here's owner. I found myself in dog park once, or should I say it found me. The Dog Parker struck up a conversation with me, I said "My name is Heather" (shit why did I say that?). They said "I'm Sallies owner". Looks like Sally wasn't the only bitch in the park.

3. Conversation between Dog Parkers consist of a) Breed of dog? b) How old is dog? c) My dog does this...My dog does that...My dog does the other thing. Good For You and Your Dog.

4. All Dog Parkers think their dogs love Dog Park. In actuality, their dogs would rather be in a hike in the forest, cruising the neighbourhood pissing on every post, tree and garden or chasing a ball thrown clear across the park by their owner.

Dog Park Pisses Me Off

**CUT TO PLAYGROUND**

Pushing Miles on the swing.

Look to left, empty swing.

Look to right, another parent pushing their child.

Conversation begins a) How old is she?...Oops its a he. b) What is baby's name?...Never introducing themselves, just offering baby's name. c) My baby can do this...My baby can do that...May baby does the other thing.

I believe there are many amazing parents and families can be met in the playground (yes potential future best friends for Miles, so I best be on my best behaviour), but is my playground turning into some warped version of Dog Park?

Ok Baby Park is way better than Dog Park...like a million times better... than Dog Park, but I still think it's weird.

BABY PARK:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MILES

There are things that make me laugh, nothing things, not necessarily laugh out loud things, not necessarily always funny, more along the absurd or just plain stupid, but I laugh. Inside. At it all. Things like people who won't give up their seats on the subway for the pregnant or elderly you know they are secretly asking themselves, "Is she really pregnant or just fat?" and "How old is too old to stand on the subway?", old men that randomly fart and know they can get away with it just because they are old (apparenlty that either means they don't know any better, or the poor dears just lack the control), my neighbours (long story)......Stupid shit really.

There is drunken, induced, uncontrollable laughter. When it's really not funny, but hell yes, it really is.

This could get out of control so I'll stop. Lets just say...I LAUGH...A LOT...Thank You Very Much. I have enjoyed amazing friendships in my life, I have laughed immensely at myself, by myself and with people I love.

Nothing in my life has brought me such happiness and laughter as this little beauty right here....













Doesn't it just bring tears to your eyes?

On June 10th Miles turned one. It's hard to believe that THIS (click for story of Miles' birth) is what was going on in my life on June 10th one year ago. Major surgery never seemed more worth it.

On Miles' birthday we had a party at my parents house. Good friends and family, cake, presents, a bocci tournament and lots of food. Miles had a great time. He was of course clueless to the fact that it was a very special day for him (and us). A day that when he gets a bit older will be celebrated by overdosing on cake and ice cream. A day he will fall asleep hugging his favorite new truck. A day that when he gets way older he will celebrate by drinking alcohol and dancing. A day that when he gets way way older he will celebrate with his new family and old friends from highschool. A day that when he gets way way way older he might wish he wasn't celebrating another year at all.

It was nice to have people we love around us to celebrate the most amazing, wonderful, intense, and interesting year of our life with. So thank you for everyone who came, it truly meant a lot to us.

Two cakes. One for us....one for Miles (and Bo). At this point in the game Miles was tired, that is until fistfulls of orange and black frosting entered his system. Below you see a smiling Miles loving the fact that everyone is singing to him. He then tentatively approaches his cake

Enter BO

Following Bo's lead, the cake is destroyed and both are covered in a sugary mess. IT WAS LOVELY!

Below are some photos of the bocci tournament (congrats to the winners Michelle and Rob...It was a heated battle...Jody and Mike will eventually recover from that amazing come back victory. It seems as if alcohol really does get you places Michelle!) and some shots of the party.
















oh and one more thing............

Doesn't Dean look Hot? It was his birthday too...Poor guy had to share his special day with a one year old. He drank himself silly later that evening (so difficult to share, that lime light). He wore a flashy pin that said "Look who's turning 30" to make himself feel better.....well that and about 30 beers. It's a miracle he didn't fall into the marina on a smoke break.

Looking forward to many more years of laughter. Thank you Miles for coming into our lives, it has been amazing.

That's It. I'm Stapling The Keys To My Thigh.

Miles and I recently had our first road trip together. No dad, just the two of us. Miles slept almost the entire way there. He was the best travel buddy ever. Didn't mind my singing or my music. Didn't mind that when I recited his favorite books for memory, that the book was not present. Didn't mind still facing the back of the vehicle with no one there to keep him company.

The way home was a different story.

For starters I decided to wear my contacts so that I could wear sun glasses....This was bad decision #1. I left without eating breakfast,having had numerous cups of coffee and no bathroom break....Bad decision #'s 2,3&4. We left for Miles' first nap so that he could get some good sleeping in while I drove. The roads were not too busy but the wind was killer, and the sun was half way between being not too bright, but bright enough that I needed sunglasses. Miles slept. While I drove, I contemplated my sheer genius for remembering to wear my contacts so that I could wear my sunglasses. I contemplated how brilliant I was that I remembered to put a good CD in the player before I left (instead of waiting till I started to drive). Then I acknowledged my stupidity for not eating, and drinking way too much coffee for my own good (for those of you who don't know me, when I am not pregnant I pee like I am...Now imagine me pregnant). I knew this was going to result in an early rest stop.

By the time we hit the Ingersol rest stop (going east bound) my contacts were feeling like shriveled up prunes (recontemplated my genius) and my eyes were killing me,I was starving, and I had to pee like a mo-fo....Yet still wanted another coffee (oooo and it was a Timmy Ho's stop too!). Pulling over to stop. I decided that since I was going to have to wake Miles to participate in this whole ordeal that I might as well give him a snack as well. So I did. In the serious wind, rain (oh yes, it's raining now) and cold. I remember everything for Miles but nothing for myself. I don't care. I'm cold and I'll figure it out later.

We get inside. I go to the bathroom. Speaking of which. How are you supposed to take a piss (change a tampon) wipe and wash your hands with a baby all by yourself? It's a public bathroom, I can't put him on the floor, he's freaking cause it stinks like a public bathroom and I'm no where near giving him the well deserved attention the he so feels he deserves. Hold him? Force him to stand and hold himself up? If anyone has that figured out, let me know. Poor kid, way more exposed to things he need not be. I change his diaper, and leave to feed him his snack.

mmmmm...Miles has his snack.

No food or coffee for me (forgot my wallet in the car), can't change my contacts (forgot all my stuff in the car). Guess we are done at the rest stop, leaving me to change my contacts in the car. Still raining, still windy, still cold. Make it to the car. Put Miles in the passenger seat while I change my contacts beside him. Don't want to put him in his car seat longer than necessary. He freaks if he's in the car seat and the car is not moving. Don't blame him, that seat looks so deceiving. Cushiony yet strappy and restraining all at the same time.

Contacts are out, glasses on.

I reach for the back door and unlock the lock (yes manual locks). I lock passenger door. Put Miles in his car seat. Lock door. Go to get into drivers seat. Door locked. No keys in pocket. No fucking keys in my pocket!!! Look to passenger seat. Keys sitting on seat.

Baby locked in car.

Shit Shit Shit. First reaction was to run from door to door trying to open them. I did that three times. My second reaction was to kick in the window, but decided that may not be the best option a)it would be a cold, wet drive home and b)it would likely scare the crap out of Miles.

I look to a man getting in his car beside mine and said "Oh my god, I just locked my baby in my car". He looks at me and said "Really?" Then shut his door and pulled away. To him I send out a great big virtual FUCK YOU! I looked at Miles. Not yet crying, but trying to figure out what the hell it is I'm doing....why isn't she getting in? Why is she staring at me? Lets get this show on the road. I look up and see a woman and a man carrying a small child. They will help, I know it. I ask them please to help me and the man pulled out his phone and was dialing roadside assistance like he was a pro. The woman took baby inside. I don't blame her...Cold, raining, wind, yadda yadda yadda. The man had someone coming to help me in less than 15 minutes. I just wanted to hug him, but he looked like the type that wouldn't appreciate a hug from some stranger. Hugged him anyways. I really was thankful for his help. He just looked cold and wet.

I spent the next fifteen minutes trying to entertain Miles with a plastic cow I happened to have in my pocket, as well as various versions of peek a boo through three windows. I'm sure people thought I was a mixture of a lunatic and the worlds worst mother. Miles only cried once, with thanks to strangers that helped to entertain here and there. He always loves people and new faces. Some even got him to laugh. Thank you. It seemed like an eternity, but 15 minutes later the tow truck showed up, and in all of about 30 seconds my door was unlocked.

GREAT BIG SIGH OF RELIEF

He took one look at Miles and said, "Why couldn't your kid just unlock the door?". "He's not even a year old" I said. I mean I'd like to think he's a genius, but I know for certain he can't open a lock on command.

So completely guilt ridden I took Miles out of the car seat. Hugged him and played with him for an hour before we got in the car and drove home. Miles slept the entire way, clueless that his mommy just locked him in the car.

I only cried once.

When I got home and saw Dave I gave him a huge hug and embarassingly told him what happened. Of course my version of the story was way too drawn out for him, and he's made fun of me numerous times since. One of my friends told me that you aren't officially a mother until you lock your kid in the car at least once. I felt better for a second, then felt bad again.

I will NEVER lock Miles in the car again...Unless he locks himself in (which is highly likely).

That's it.

I'm stapling the keys to my thigh.

Ode To The Belly That Was

In less than a month Miles will be one. It's hard to believe that this coming weekend last year, I was thinking that I was going to have a baby. I was due May 24th (Miles decided to arrive June 10th) . I figured he was going to have some kick ass birthday celebrations when he got older with a birthday on the 2-4 weekend (likely ones I didn't want to hear about, but kick ass nonetheless). Little did I know that I was going to be weeks overdue.

Lets face it, for those of you that knew me when I was pregnant it got pretty ugly near the end (who am I kidding, despite all my exercise I grew like a...lets just say I got big fast). I WAS HUGE!!! I should have known a ten pounder was in there waiting & waiting and waiting.

Today I raise a glass of wine to my big ole belly (because I certainly couldn't then). Despite the gynormous sizes that this body achieved (I'm sure thanks to chocolate), I really miss the old belly. Rubbing it, reading to it, blasting music against it, getting automatic seats on the TTC with it, and feeling the sweetness inside of it.































......After the 3 days overdue photo no more photos were taken (that would just be cruel and unusual punishment to myself) until Miles was born....and we haven't stopped taking photos since.

Educational Toys?....I'll take the.....

I spend so much time and energy trying to figure out how I can stimulate Miles' mind in new ways. As you can see from the previous post, at times I have resorted to pots and pans (simple pleasures). I have threaded shoe laces through wooden spatulas, put uncooked noodles in old cottage cheese containers, and put myself in a variety of contorted positions just for a laugh.

We don't really have a tonne of toys (although he also hasn't had a birthday yet either), we buy new ones here and there (mostly second hand, as we never know if he's going to like them or not) because we think he's bored of the old ones, but that doesn't seem to be the case. We bring the toys home, put them together, feel completely accomplished that we constructed it properly and Miles takes one look and bangs on the floor with his block. Not interested in the least. He's not bored with his toys, he just has no interest in them what so ever. He really is content with climbing stairs, ripping my favorite books, opening the door closing the door, opening the door closing the door, opening the door closing the door, and eating Starbucks coffee cups.

We spend a lot of our time outdoors walking and pointing. The horticulturalist in me will have him identifying the rarest of plants in no time. Miles points at a tree and instead of me saying "tree", I say "that's a Norway Maple, or that's a Redbud". I then correct myself and say "Norway Maple Tree". On our walks he points out flowers all the time too. It kills me to just say "flower" and leave it at that (I want to say Trillium, Tulip, Peony) .

The other portion of our time is dedicated to feeding, cruising around the house, eating Chewy's dog food, dropping things in Chewy's water dish, dive bombing off the bed, and reading reading reading. The kid LOVES his books. Unfortunately we inherited a Barney book at some point in time, and well...It's the only book that makes him laugh hysterically upon opening. Yes this makes me cringe. I'm just hoping he's laughing at the absurdity of Barney, and not just because he's a fun loving purple freaking dinosaur. He did learn to say (and point out) baby from the book so I guess I do owe Barney a bit of credit.


Miles' Top Five Favorite Toys of the Week.

#5 Plastic container with 7 stale Cheerio's inside.
Ideal of shaking, banging, chewing, and throwing.













#4 Phone Book.
The only phone book in the house containing all numbers (argh).
Ideal of slobbering all over, throwing, and passing to mom (over and over again).













#3 Door Stop
Ideal for making boingy noise.
A personal favorite of the neighbor's I'm sure.











#2 Shoe laces through wooden spatula.
This one speaks for itself.













IT'S A TIE
#1 Pop can.
No brand preference.
Along with fabric softener sheets, this kid would crawl any distance to get his hand on one precious aluminum can. I have to stuff it with cloth so that he doesn't cut himself.



















#1 Remote Controls
Ideal for sucking, raising volume, lowering volume, and changing channels.
It's a miracle these remotes even work anymore.

Knock Knock...Who's There?

The truth is, I am almost always thinking of Miles. If I leave Miles with Dave, parents, or a friend, I can't help but wonder if he needs me, or if he's happy. I just need to know if he's okay. I know he's perfectly well taken care of and I should just relax and consider myself lucky to have some free time. I do appreciate the time I have away from Miles, but that doesn't mean I stop thinking of him. I'm not insane (though I'm sure some beg to differ), I'm not over protective (again with the begging to differ), in fact any chance I get for Miles to enjoy someone else's company, I take it.

When we went out for dinner with friends for Dave's birthday I secretly snuck the phone in the bathroom to call mom to make sure Miles was alright. Of course he was. But I couldn't have a good time until I knew, then I was fine (pour me another glass of wine!).

I think socializing a baby is important, that's why we go to playgroup. The Children's Storefront (that's playgroup) is amazing. It's a drop in, the moms are fantastic (well most of them, some are way too overprotective and insane), and there are babies of all ages for Miles to interact with. The downside is every time we go, Miles gets sick (but that's bound to happen anywhere).

I do however, have apprehensions about sending Miles to daycare. I feel like he's still so wee, and there is so much for me to miss. I know I went to daycare and turned out just fine (again with the begging to differ), and so did my brother. In fact everyone I know went to daycare. But times were different, and Maternity leave was not considered as important as it is now. I just can't imagine paying money for someone else to raise my child 8 hours a day, five days a week, and really only make a minimum amount of profit for my family (in case I didn't mention it, I'm not a rocket scientist, just a social services horticulturalist....Let me tell you, big bucks!). Even if there was a decent profit margin to be made I would have trouble with the idea of handing over Miles to a group of people I really don't know all that well.

I don't have trouble with the thought of sending him to daycare once or twice a week if necessary (socialization blah blah blah), but I really feel it is important for him to be surrounded by people he loves and that love him. I don't think that's such an insane concept. Family. It is one of the reasons I want to move home. I'm not saying I don't want to work, I do. I just want to work, and feel secure in the idea that Miles is surrounded by loved ones and his peers (that's why playgroup kicks serious ass).

So needless to say until we figure out whether or not moving home is in the future for us, we have decided that I should try my hand at being a work at home stay at home mom (hopefully this doesn't last long). I'm not sure if we can do it financially, but it's worth a try, as me going back to work really doesn't make too much of a difference financially anyways. I scored a nanny job two days a week starting in June, I'm watering a few gardens, doing some urns, and to add to that lovely list of odd jobs, I'm selling Avon (giggles).

Go ahead, laugh, I know I don't know the first thing about makeup, the most makeup I've ever applied was back in my "scary/goth" days, and that was just a shit load of black mascara, black eyeliner and some seriously red lipstick that didn't even go with my hair. I mean these days, putting makeup on means some lip gloss and a touch of brown mascara (but that bottle is all old and crusty so I don't really even use that anymore). But I need to try something, so I thought I'd give this a whirl. I have no idea what I'm doing (I'm certainly not knocking on doors, but I will put fliers in mail boxes if I have to). I don't even know if Avon will even be successful. All I know is that I feel so strongly about this that I'll basically try anything....Got any ideas?

So Now All Of A Sudden I Need A Cuddle Bunny

Over Easter weekend the Piccinato family gave Miles a bunny. A SUPER soft, SUPER cute, a not too big and not too small bunny. Miles really hasn't figured out the security that a stuffed animal can offer yet. Once in a while he will chew on Elmo's eyes, eat the kangaroos tail, or suck on the rabbits ear, but all in all he's not much of a stuffed animal guy.....Yet. Just for the record, he's also not a blankie, thumb, or a soother guy. He was a boob man until he started biting me, but that's all in the past (see previous posts).

So the other day, as I lay on the couch with Dave (watching our previously taped 24) it occurred to me that when the show got suspenseful I was cuddling said bunny. I laughed at myself, but that didn't stop me from cuddling it. In fact, over the past few days when I sit down to watch the tube I find myself actually "needing" the bunny. I hold it in my arms, rest my head on it's oh so soft fake fur. It doesn't even phase Dave when I ask him if he could please pass me the bunny. This bunny is now part of the living room decor (along with a mess of other toys). I imagine most people who walk through our doors think that the bunny is Miles'. Little do they know, it has become my cuddle bunny.

Thank You For Waiting...My Ass Hurts Again

It was March, 2004 that I got the running fever. I had decided that I needed to get into shape and had asked a few friends if they might be into running. My friend Penny, who I really barely knew at the time, was the only one to jump on the offer (I can't remember how hesitant her yes was....If it was at all). Our first run was from my old apartment on Spadina around Christie Pits Park and back, just under 5K (later to be referred to as short run). It snowed that day. We both vowed to make running a regular thing. It felt good.

After running for a few months we were not only in fantastic shape, but we were becoming wonderful friends. Our first run was for The Brain Tumor Foundation, a 10K fundraiser. I don't think we walked once, but it PISSED buckets, and we couldn't have been more proud of ourselves when we crossed the finish line. It was that taste of group running and motivation that swept us into a ridiculous spin of long distance running.

The following collage highlights some of our very fist long distance runs (and yes the proofs are lifted from the web site)

Our first long run was The 25K Niagara Ultra (some crazy fools even ran 50K). You can see from the photos we have our numbers on our backs to start, and on our fronts to finish.......Amateurs. But we didn't do to badly Results, despite the fact that our bodies ached beyond belief. The collage also highlights our first half marathon 21K. The Detroit Half Marathon to be exact. We ran from Detroit's Comerica Park, U.S.A, across the Ambassador Bridge to Windsor, Canada, though the tunnel to the U.S., and finished on Ford Field. Beautiful day, great conversation, amazing run, and to top it all off, I was almost 4 months PREGNANT! Results.

PREGGERS....That's what ended the intended chain of long distance running in far off countries. Penny was amazing. She still ran with me almost every day (even though I was a lot slower)...Until we couldn't anymore (I think we ran until January and then it just got too slippery).

So instead of running, we swam every day. Doing laps wasn't nearly as fun (you can't talk under water), but swimming was the absolute BEST when I was pregnant. It was the only time that my body didn't feel like LC the Cow. After every 20 laps we'd chat for a bit, and then continue on. These lovely pics are near the end of my pregnancy.

After my c-section I wasn't really running for a while, and well, being a new mom sort of kept my time full. Penny waited patiently. I trained on my own for a bit, and we ran a 5k race for The Breast Cancer Foundation,but I still didn't feel up to par. In all honesty, I think I had lost motivation...That and my tits were two big. I mean running with three sports bras is a fantasy no woman should ever have. I was still very active, I just wasn't running.

Penny waited patiently (she ran on her own, hoping I'd come around again). This month, I decided that this was going to be my month. I have caught the running fever again (much to Penny's delight). It's taken a few weeks but I can run 7K without walking (though I'm still not at my old pace). I think my biggest challenge is pushing the damn running stroller. The bloody front wheel doesn't turn, and Miles + stroller = F*&^ing heavy. We take turns with the stroller now. It feels so good to be running again, even if I feel like I'm chasing Penny half the time. I'll get to where I was again, I know it. Just have to run through a sore butt and tired legs once in a while.

On May 7th, we participate in The Brain Tumor Foundation10K run again. I feel like this is the start of some beautiful runs and more motivation to run the distance.

Thank you for waiting Penny.

Sorry about posting the bathing suit pic. Had to. Thought you wouldn't mind considering I posted mine too.

Flying Martini

Miles flies his first kite....attached to my back!

For the past four years, my family and our friends have had a kite contest on top of "the hill". Every year there is lots of food to eat, alcohol to be consumed, and awards to be given. Each year, more people come and join in the fun. This year there were about 20 participants. There were martini glasses, fish, dragons, planes, blimps, turtles, frogs, butterflies, box kites, the Wiggles, Sponge Bob, robots, and your standard rainbow kites all flying in the air (at some point or another). It was beautiful.

The wind wasn't perfect, it had it's gusty moments. Some kites flew beautifully, some kites landed at the bottom of the hill, and some of us spent a lot of time winding string and finding the perfect kite. Fingers crossed that next year offers a beautiful day and more friends to fly with.

Four Generations

Mom, Me, Miles and Grandpa

I'll Give You The Food Off My Tray For The Hair Off Your Back

This is the latest scene in our house during breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack time. Miles eating (or throwing which ever you prefer) and Chewy hovering (ever so discreetly my ass) and waiting for food to fall so he can gobble it all up. One might wonder why a single Cheerio or a 1 cm. cube of cheddar cheese would be so worth the agonizing wait. I don't bother wondering. All I know is I can't stand that Miles has now recognized that the "Guh" (aka dog) wants his food and that Miles is more than happy to share whatever he has with the dog. In fact, it's what makes eating more fascinating.

Sometimes Chewy is completely oblivious that Miles has tossed and entire handful of food to him. That's because it's all stuck in the fur on his back. Now I have a dog and a baby to clean after eating. Perhaps I should consider myself lucky. The two of them are cleaning up after each other. Chewy eats the food that Miles tosses onto the floor, and Miles sweeps all of Chewy's hair up when he crawls. Perhaps everyone thinking of starting a family should get a dog. I hear it's just like having a kid....ha!


I thought I'd add this photo segment of Dave and Miles.

Miles got Mega Blocks from Nanna and Nono for Christmas, and we just recently busted them out. Miles mostly sucks on them and gets bored of them pretty quickly (it's actually the bag that is more interesting). It seems to me someone is having more fun then the intended recipient of the gift.


I don't have a picture of the finished product, though I really wish I did. Dave was so proud that he used every block and in perfect symmetry! (good boy Dave!). He even brought it into the kitchen where I was feeding Miles (and the dog) to show it off. I was simply amazed when it got knocked off the table after he left for work and I had to clean it up.

And The Winner Is.....

And the lucky winners to the "Guess What's Going On In This Photo" contest are Grandma & Peepa. Together they guessed correctly (only that's my leg and not Daves). If you read this blog or talk to use enough, you would know that Miles has to take a poo standing up.

Now what I have failed to mention in the past, is that Miles needs to be visually entertained in order to participate in this whole pooping ordeal. Sometimes you have to move from location to location in order to "get it all out". What you see in the photo is a common starter spot...The dishwasher. The dishwasher is ever so fascinating, being shiny white and having six buttons and all, but it is also conveniently located next to these really cool white cabinet doorknobs that are also fun to grab while pooing.

Top 10 Favorite Pooping Locations
1. See through Ikea dresser we have. You can pull and tug at all sorts of interesting items inside. Yes, there are some socks and underwear. He likes it. I don't argue. Clearly we've tried it all.
2. Dishwasher / Cabinet Duo...You can move back and forth to each entertaining item.
3. Any window or door that has a lovely view of the outdoors.
4. The Bathroom towel rack. It moves up and down...Fascinating...Simply fascinating. It is located near the Bathroom Cabinet. It too has the ever famous white doorknobs.
5. The coffee table. But only when it has entertaining items on it(remote control, books, toys etc.) Ahhh the remote.....TV on, TV off. Volume up, volume down. Channel 2, channel 18.
6. Standing on our bed trying to grab at the mask on the wall. This was out of desperation and it worked.
7. Leaning against his favorite office chair. It turns and has a black twisty knob, oooooooo.
8. Standing facing the book shelf. That way he can simultaneously rip books off the shelf and poo at the same time.
9. Recruit Chewy, our dog (only as a desperate measure). Hoping perhaps a stand off of some sort will "get things moving". It's worked in the past.
10. If we are lucky the kid just does it on his own (unless it's in his highchair or bouncer, then it's just a squishy mess).

As I type this, I realize we are either going to have to install some sort of entertainment device in the bathroom for potty training. I'm going to have to act out short skits and or dance. Perhaps we are going to have to have a portable potty which cruises to different locations around the house. On the upside, as least we don't have to worry about him pooing in the bathtub!

Go ahead...Laugh at us.

I promise my next post won't be about POO.

I'll Give You Three Guesses

I absolutely love this picture. However I know what's going on (so it is a bit tainted). I'll give you three guesses.....Can you figure it out?

Miles has finally made the world wide web. Rock Your Baby (a super cute baby clothing store in Australia) has decided (and we agree) that Miles is cute enough to be posted on their web page (check the gallery section). What a rock star.

Diaper Changing 101

I don't mind cleaning up a mess after a "self fed" meal. I don't mind that by the end of the day Miles is more covered in dog hair than the dog. I don't mind cleaning up puke, even if it's purple. I don't mind crawling around the house all day discovering every inch of dirt on the hardwood floors and pretending that I am equally as fascinated as Miles is. I don't mind that I have to eat after 8pm if I want to enjoy a nice meal. I don't mind waking up at 6am every morning. I don't even mind the thought of cleaning up poopy diapers. What I do mind is the constant battle I have with Miles to SIT STILL while I change his diaper. Not even within two seconds that he is freed from the bounds of his diaper, is he twisting to get free from the bounds of the change table.

I know I am not alone in this struggle. I know I too participated in such acrobatics as a baby. This doesn't mean that I have to like it, nor accept it. I just have to deal with it.

There are a few positions that I would like to go over with those of you who have no idea what the hell I'm talking about.

The Wheel Barrel: Most commonly occurs with poopy diapers. Upon grabbing Miles' ankles to remove diaper and keep dirty bottom from touching the change table, Miles shoots belly directly into air and squeezes but cheeks together. Alternate pose: Miles twists onto tummy while legs are being held in mid air. Bum is usually not wiped in this stage which adds to the fun. Admittingly, as frustrating as this is, the wheel barrel is one of my favorites. It does make me laugh.

The Instant Dog: Most commonly occurs with pee diapers, as legs are not needed to be held in mid air. Once the diaper is removed and changer is putting diaper into "the genie", Miles promptly (like the speed of light) flips onto tummy and is on all fours. Turning Miles onto back once again is futile as he simply turns himself over onto all fours again. You have to wipe Miles clean in this position. Dave has dubbed this wiping the baby "doggie style". Putting a fresh diaper on while Miles is on all fours is now common practice.

The Streaker: Most commonly occurs when the Instant Dog pisses me off and I move to the bed to try and put the diaper on. It is exactly the same as the Instant Dog, only Miles takes off crawling, fighting the diaper by any means necessary. I pull him back and the Streaker repeats.

The Cheerleader: Most commonly occurs with pee diapers, or after a poopie diaper has been wiped clean. Miles kicks his legs into the air and lowers legs with great force. Palates lovers would admire such abdominal strength.

The Clencher: This occurs with every diaper change. But cheek's and legs are clenched so that diaper application is performed only by creating a wedge between his legs in order to get diaper on.

I can only hope this phase passes. And yes, at the end of the day, he is still cute.

Name That Hazard

Lets look at this picture closely (actually, you don't even have to look that closely). How many baby hazards do you see? .....and that's just the computer room! Seems to me, we either baby proof this house or we move before it's too late. I've got my fingers crossed for the big move.

Meet You All The Way (do do do)...Roseanna YEAH!

It is not unusual for me to come home and find Dave playing some absurdly wonderful game with Miles. Like a few weeks ago for example, I came home to Dave flying Miles around the house in the laundry basket. Miles of course was loving every second of it. So of course now it's a regular game.

Today's events however take the cake. I was downstairs doing some cleaning and I heard the ever famous thump thump thumping on the ceiling. Miles was in his bouncer.

**Many of you know how fond Miles is of his bouncer. He could spend hours bouncing to music. It is a cherished time for all. He has great amounts of fun all the while completely tiring himself out, and we can actually do stuff and keep an eye on him and know that he's not going to get into any trouble.**

Anyways, I thought I'd find Dave on the computer and Miles bouncing away to some Stevie Wonder or James Brown....But no. Dave was dancing in front of Miles and listening to "Roseanna" by TOTO, and Miles was bouncing higher than I had ever seen him bounce.

Well after pissing myself laughing, Dave tried to tell me he was just "goofing around". They were having too much fun to be goofing around, they were loving it. Now I know about Dave's secret love for TOTO. You know, I really should have clued in at the baby shower. We were playing some silly version of musical chairs and Dave (playing the DJ) put "Roseanna" on. We all thought he was silly (figuring he was having fun with the ecletic record collection at hand), laughed, and danced like fools around a few chairs. Little did we all know that secretly Dave was loving the lyrical genius TOTO.

Now I know Dave. Now I know.

The Much Talked About, But Never Seen, Fish Face

I have been trying to capture this face on film for a long time now.

Finally, fish boy and I had a photoshoot.

Just What Is This Monitor Monitoring Anyways?

Scenario #1
Put Miles to sleep. Turn on upstairs monitor. Listen to Portuguese woman next door chat on the phone (too bad she doesn't speak English, it sounded pretty heated). Switch channel (there are only 2...A & B). Listen to some mother trying to put her kid to sleep (poor woman, sounded like she was having a rough time). Switch back to previous channel...Miles snoring.

Scenario #2
Put Miles to sleep. Turn on upstairs monitor. Listen to Miles snore. Read book, watch TV, fiddle on computer. Listen to high pitched ringing, buzzing and beeping (Alien communication?). Noises stop. Listen to Miles snore.

Scenario #3
Put Miles to sleep. Turn on upstairs monitor. Listen to silence. Switch channel. Listen to silence. Turn up volume. Silence. Press monitor to ear. Silence. Switch back channel. Turn up volume. Silence. Press monitor to ear. Silence. Is my kid even breathing? Go downstairs. Peek in room. Look for the rise and fall of his chest. He's fine (of course). Go upstairs. Realize I'm far too paranoid and need to take it easy (I should appreciate the silence). Listen to Miles snoring (figures).

I thought Dean and Jody were silly for getting a video monitor (pricey, and well, what did our parents do before monitors?). When we visited, I always asked to use it (novelty)....of course secretly wishing I had one. I guess when they hear alien noises, next door neighbours, or just plain sweet silence, they can just look at the the mini screen and know everything is okay (although their monitor is so advanced I'm sure it doesn't even pick up half of the crap ours does). It's too late for us now. All I can do now is think of the monitors future potential and advantages. I'm hoping that when we move we can use our monitors to spy on the neighbours, or communicate with alien life which ever comes first. Dean & Jody, we sit in awe and admire the wonder of baby technology you possess, and kick ourselves daily for not getting one.

The Lovely Blood Blistery Lip

Some of you may know this already, some of you may not want to read any further.....Miles can only take a poo while standing. Silly? Yes. My fault? Totally. I always hated when he pooped and then sat down. Poo would smoosh everywhere. So, I started to take notice when he was taking a poo. When I thought he was pooping, I would make him stand up while doing it. I thought it worked well for all of us....Dave or myself (yes he changes the crappy ones too) cleaned a diaper that was not as smooshy and gross as it could have been, and Miles gets his diaper changed immediately following a poo. How nice!

So now I can predict when a poo is coming and I can actually make him go. Well, the downfall is that I have to stand with him every time he goes. In all seriousness I have to put something in front of him to sort of entertain him (don't laugh, I know many of you read on the crapper). The upside to this is no poopie diapers in public, and the possibility of easier potty training come time (I just might be a diaper genius, or really trying to convince myself that this is perfectly normal). Where is this going you may ask, as I really don't need to know the bowel movements of a 9 month old. Well, the other day (while trying to get Miles to take a dump) Miles dropped one of the toys that he was playing with. When he bent down to retrieve the toy, he banged his lip on the coffee table, and pretty hard too. We are talking serious tears. If you look at the picture you will see his lovely blood blistery lip. Was it necessary to tell you all of the above? Not at all. I could have told you he dropped a toy and hit the table when he went to pick it up. But what fun would that be?

Now when I go out in public I don't hear "Oh you poor baby what happened to your eye?", I hear "You poor baby what happened to your lip?". Since I trimmed Miles' bangs, I also hope to no longer hear "Oh you poor baby, can you even see through all that hair?" Sometimes I'm not so nice when people ask these questions (I mean people are seriously bold sometimes, the stories I could tell). To top it all off, his nails were so long that he scratched the hell out of his face in his sleep, so I had to trim his nails too (trimming a babies nails kicks ass!). Really, I'm surprised I don't hear "Oh you poor baby, don't your parents take care of you?" I haven't planned the come back for that one yet....I'll work on it.